FIFI QUOTATIONS

 

This page contains some of Fifi's famous quotes.

 

 

OUT OF ODOR: ALTERNATE ENDING

If you've seen the story, "Out of Odor," and didn't like what happened to Fifi at the end, you should read this. It's an alternate ending of the story, which I wrote myself. It starts from the point where Fifi became exhausted from using her tail like a machine gun. Elmira was suffering an allergic reaction to roses, even though Fifi's stink had come back after the car wash.

 

ELMIRA: 'I can't smell a thing! And you know what that means.'

She was about to grab Fifi by the tail, when suddenly...

HAMTON: (running up to them) 'Elmira! Leave Fifi alone!'

He ran in front of Fifi, and shielded her from Elmira.

ELMIRA: 'Ewww, a dirty wirty piggy wiggy.'

Suddenly, Elmira spotted Furrball, looking for food in a trash can.

ELMIRA: 'Now that's a pretty witty kitty!'

Furrball screamed and ran off, and Elmira chased after him. Hamton helped Fifi down off the car, and swept her off her feet, and into his arms.

FIFI: (to Hamton) 'My hero.'

They kissed on the lips. Fifi stopped for a moment.

FIFI: 'Now zis is a happy ending.'

She and Hamton kissed again, and the story ends.

 

 

 

 

DATING, ACME ACRES STYLE

LOVE STINKS

Intelligent boys are such a tease.

 

Coffee? Tea? Or Moi?

 

Love hurts, no?

 

Will you be my boyfriend?

 

I sense a fear of commitment.

 

Ooh la la! Hold me!

 

Thank heavens for little boys, no?

 

 

 

 

FURRBALL FOLLIES

AROMA AMORE

Le sigh. Love is tres cool, no?

 

Eef looks could kill, you would not be feeling so well, eh?

 

Like, bonjour mon amore.

 

My jiggling gigolo wants to play hide and go seek.

 

Leetle boys are such children.

 

Zere are many fish in ze sea, but you are zee only one for me.

 

FIFI: 'Sorry I am late, mon petite quiche. I know, my love, I am all in knots too. That is why I think it is time you meet my family, no?'

FURRBALL: 'No.'

FIFI: 'Flirt.'

 

Alone again. Oh, poor Fifi. No one loves you. Le boo. Le hoo. Le boo hoo hoo hoo hoo.

 

You know what they say. When you are thrown by ze horse, you must get right back on and ride.

 

 

 

 

HARE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

Dear diary. I am so, how you say, bored!

 

Dear diary. I am so happy. I think I may boo hoo.

 

 

 

 

HOW I SPENT MY VACATION

FIFI: 'All my life I have had but one dream. To meet Johnny Pew, le skunk movie star of my dreams.'

SHIRLEY: 'Let me get a clear look at your aura. I'm getting something... Johnny Pew is heading towards the Acme Resort Hotel.'

FIFI: 'Merci, Merci, Merci! I'm coming to you!'

 

Ooh la la! Mon cherie.

 

I am here to get Johnny Pew's autograph. He is my favourite movie star skunk hunk.

 

FIFI: 'Eet eezn't over till zee fat lady sings.'

ROSANNE BARR: (singing) 'O'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave!'

 

Viva le success.

 

Le sob! Le really big sob! Le boo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

 

Johnny Pew!

 

I would die for you.

 

Oh, somebody peench me.

 

FIFI: (mad at Johnny Pew) 'Zat was my photograph! I cannot believe you!'

JOHNNY: 'Yeah, well I am pretty unbelievable.'

FIFI: 'You are nothing but a selfish worthless waste of skunk! You, Monsieur Pew, stink!'

 

Fifi and Elmira, singing.

FIFI: 'Johnny Pew is a pity.'

ELMIRA: (holding Johnny Pew, who was dressed as a baby) 'At least I got my kitty.'

 

 

 

 

K-ACME TV

DEPRESSION

NARRATOR: 'She came on strong.'

FIFI: (hugging a cat) 'Hold me!'

She flirted with another cat, and her scent caused him to scream, and lose his colours.

NARRATOR: 'But something about her lingered. She was a girl. She was a mystery. She was...'

THREE CATS: 'A Skunk!!!'

NARRATOR: 'Calvin Acme's Depression.'

FIFI: 'Le sigh.'

NARRATOR: 'When you've got a smell so strong, nothing can cover it up.'

 

 

 

 

KON DUCKI

Monsieur Director Plucky. Someone has parked in your very private parking space.

 

 

 

 

LOVE DISCONNECTION

THE AMAZING THREE

Je ne sais pas! I come skippeeng out to see ze mail like I always do, and ze mailman, he throws his bag down and run like he always does. Quel strange.

 

Viva la amore.

 

FIFI: 'Sacre bleu! Zat eez not Perfecto...! (Babs covers Fifi's mouth) Mmm...!'

BABS: 'Shh! You don't want my dad to drop us off right in front of the school, do you? We'll be laughed right out of the party!'

 

 

 

 

PROM-ISE HER ANYTHING

FIFI: 'Hmph, I zink ze whole idea about proms and dates eez a lot of sexist, outdated, how you say, hooey!'

HAMTON: 'Gosh that's too bad, Fifi. I was kinda hoping you'd be my date. Oh well.'

FIFI: 'Oh bless you mon petite bacon of pig! I thought no one would ask me!'

 

Sacre pew! Can you do something with my hair?

 

Crepe suzette! Bugs Bunny eez doing Buster's dance.

 

 

 

 

THE BUSTER BUNNY BUNCH

BORN TO BE RILED

Zis grape juice has a full body, no?

 

FIFI: 'Do someone else!'

BABS: 'Hm...(as Fifi) Bonjour, my leetle cheese brioche of love. I hold all my men smellbound.'

FIFI: (angry) 'I am not like zat at all!'

BABS: 'Le sigh, my boyfriends have stood up to me more times zan ze French National Anzem.'

 

Babs, you stink! And coming from a skunk, that's an insult!

 

Oui oui, I agree! Babs she went too far!

 

I am how you say, here!

 

FIFI: (to Shirley) 'Babs, you look marvellous.'

SHIRLEY: 'Oh, and you don't? Ha ha ha ha ha!'

 

 

 

 

ANIMANIACS: SURVEY LADIES

DOT: 'Do you think Scratchy'd like some cologne?'

FIFI: 'We have Obsession, Repression, and Ecstasy!'

DOT: 'Do you have anything for beginners?'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Fifi La Fume Shrine